im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
