you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
