Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
