Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
