I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
