New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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