she kept yelling 'call me bella'
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
