he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
