Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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