i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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