Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
do herpes really smell.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
