just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
