she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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