I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have already put on my inside pants.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
