I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Too much gin, very little bucket
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
