Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
