nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
