as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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