it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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