I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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