We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
