He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
