You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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