i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
