so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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