the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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