Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
