his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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