Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
