This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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