I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
