why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
