I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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