i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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