So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
