So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Less talking, more tequila
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
