She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
