we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
