I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
