Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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