She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
