Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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