Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
