i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
