I looked at my own cervix.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
