I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
