i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Are my feet made of real feet?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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