you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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