We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
