He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
